At Last!
The Epic Story Released As E-Text!

For over fifty years J.R.R. Tolkien's epic novel The Lord of the Rings has been widely available in libraries and bookstores around the world, and many different translations of the work now exist. Curiously, however, the novel's publishers have never to date produced an electronic text of Tolkien's most famous work. Doubtless this is an effort on their part to discourage any possible piracy. Still, many people on the Internet have been actively seeking e-texts of Tolkien's work for their own (usually unstated) purposes.

Now, however, the people at rec.arts.books.tolkien have taken on the arduous task of bringing such epic fantasy as this to the Internet! By working together, drinking too much coffee and typing into the wee hours of the night, distinguished authorities of Tolkien's works have tackled the great task of creating a downloadable electronic text for this masterwork of epic proportions! Now those who refuse to purchase J.R.R. Tolkien's epic novel The Lord of the Rings in print form, but are seeking an electronic copy to download instead, can get exactly what they deserve!

Feel free to begin reading, or downloading, this epic work as you please! But before you do so, please remember to send your royalty check for thirty-five dollars directly to the authorized Lord of the Rings publisher nearest you.


CAUTION! Slight changes from the original text are inevitable. Do not under any circumstances use this as a definitive reference to Tolkien's works.

Volume One: THE FELONSHIP OF THE RING

Foreword - awaiting completion
Prologue - awaiting lots of completion
The Map - rendered by David Salo

Book One: Book Two:

Volume Two: THE TWO TOWELS

Book Three: Book Four:

Volume Three: THE RETURN OF THE KINK

Map of Gondor™ and Mordor - rendered by David Salo

Book Five: Book Six: The Appendices: The Spleen:

Many thanks are due to the noble and erudite Steuard Jensen, and the learned and wise Öjevind Lång, who have both assumed the wild task of administrating this project - a job not unlike herding rabid cats. Mr. Jensen's administrative web-pages have provided great aid to this ambitious and stalwart undertaking.

The educated and altogether too clever David Salo has graciously taken the time to contribute maps as well as other forms of fiendish cleverness to keep us thinking. As well, the honourable Robert Brady maintained a list of names as given in the E-text as an aid to contributors. Thanks are due to Mr. Brady and Mr. Salo for these noble uses of their time.

For those who think this is the greatest literary work in all of Western history and want nothing more than to share it with the rest of the world, please read this disclaimer first, and take particular note of the fifth paragraph.


Book I, Chapter One
Back to the Tolkien Sarcasm Page

To Those Who Are Concerned: Before reporting this site to the Tolkien Estate as a flagrant violation of copyright, please be sure to read a chapter or two.
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