1) Cook a 35-pound Butterball turkey so it's just exactly the way you like it. 2) Sequester the turkey up your left sleeve. 3) Go to your in-laws' house. While waiting for dinner to be served, do lots of small aerobic exercises with your left arm; the heat will keep the turkey warm. (Try not to be too obvious. If anyone asks, tell them you have an itch.) 4) As you sit down with everyone else at the dinner table, pick up your fork with your
"It's not like that in the magical world, 'Arry," Hagrid said, voice lowered in concern. "Y'see, when Vol... well, when You-Know-Who set up a trust deposit insurance scheme, 'e didn't account for rising interest rates. And 'e didn't give codflakes about whether it would influence currency issues abroad, or take into account nominal seasonal fluctuations in the GNP as accounted for in Dumbledore's rules. See, that's what makes him so evil, Harry; by doin' this he unpinned meaningful values from real estate an' just left 'em floatin', an' so the loss in equity was inevitable
There are five houses. The first house is on the left. The longshoreman lives in the red house. The economist owns the basset hound. Tea is drunk in the green house. The fireman drinks bourbon. The green house is immediately to the right of the ivory house. The octopus owner reads history books. Science fiction is read in the yellow house. Milk is drunk in the middle house. The detective lives in the first house. The man who reads biographies lives in the house next to the man with the anteater. Science fiction is read in the house next to the house where the squirrel is kept. The magazine reader drinks antifreeze. (Bad habit, really.) The general reads Shakespeare. The detective lives next to the blue house. Now, here's your quiz: Who drinks water? And who owns the weasel?
looked at the body with a growing disgust and horror. "This could only be the work of Cthulhu," I told Lathrop. "Look at the Cyclopean way that sandwich was eaten. Look at the non-Euclidian bullets. I'll bet anyamount of money this took place on Yog-Shoggohepth.At the light of the full moo