A Comment On Wesley Crusher
Posted to the newsgroup
under the title Episode #108, Act Four (proposed), on 31 October 1994.
INT. OBSERVATION LOUNGE
PICARD and RIKER are seated as WESLEY ENTERS. Picard doesn't offer
him a seat.
Mister Crusher, I understand the warp-core
accident we had today was caused by you.
(tired and insignificant)
The warp-core accident which killed three
It also left us without a starboard nacelle.
The ship can only use warp speed now when we
go to the left. Mr. Data is still trying to
figure out how to plot a course back to the
nearest Starbase which only utilizes a long
series of really tight circles. Geordi would
probably be very helpful right now, but
unfortunately NOW he is not only blind, but
he cannot HEAR anything EITHER.
What do you have to say for yourself?
A pause. Wesley straightens. We see him building up a good
Captain, I feel my experiment was valid.
Starfleet sent us out here to explore the un-
known. I was trying to push forward the bounds of
human knowledge, sir. I think that's worth a few
Geordi's last report says you were trying to
get the Enterprise to appear in two places at
once. He also reports that your primary moti-
vation for this was to have a three-way with
two Ensign Lefflers.
Well, that's pushing the boundaries of human
knowledge, isn't it-
Mister Crusher, you've ruined my ship, killed a
quarter of my crew and left us here to drift.
What the HELL do you have to say for yourself?
(throwing the dreaded
I did what I thought was right! I'M not wrong!
YOU are! ALL of you! YOU'RE the ones all bent
out of shape because I hurt your starship a
little! But I'M A GENIUS! I'M A BOY PRODIGY!
I don't have to obey your snivelling little rules
because I'M THE MOZART OF WARP-SPEED!!! And GENE
LIKES ME, DAMMIT, SO I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU!
I'll get my OWN show! Yeah! THAT'S it! "STAR TREK:
THE WEASEL HOUR!" And I'll be on posters and T-shirts
and everything! And I'll have NEAT guest-stars, too!
Flip Wilson! Paul Lynde! Carol Burnett! That guy who
spins plates in the air on top of sticks! Oh, I'LL
pull in the ratings, and I'LL still be on the air
long after your residuals from syndication run out-
Riker punches Wesley in the jaw as hard as he can, slowing
his diatribe to a quiet whimpering snivel.
Thank you, Number One.
Mister Crusher, do you know what I'm going to do
Long pause. Picard stands, walks to the windows and looks
We're having a hard time scraping up enough raw
material to patch the Engineering hull. But by
feeding you into the molecular reprocessors,
perhaps you can be of some help.
You know what, Mister Crusher? I think you'll make
a splendid bulkhead. And it'll be a good career
move for you, too - in your own way, you'll be on
the Enterprise forever.
(nods to Riker)
Proceed, Number One.
With pleasure, Captain.
Riker seizes Wesley by the throat and carries him out.
Ukh... waiitk, ukh, hey, uhhkk...
Picard turns to the window, smiles.
I haven't felt this good in years.
DR. CRUSHER is attaching big silver hearing implants to
There. Now how's that feel?
I SAID, HOW'S THAT FEEL!
How can anybody wear the same damn sweater for that many years?