Welcome to the
Tolkien Sarcasm Page!
J.R.R. Tolkien, in writing his extraordinary books about Middle-earth,
has succeeded in creating a world so finely-detailed and fully-realized
that even now, over fifty years after The Lord of the Rings was
first published, linguists and scholars still continue their avid
research and debates about the world Tolkien has created. The Tolkien
Sarcasm Page, one of the oldest bastions of Tolkien humor on the Web,
is here to help Middle-earth historians everywhere take a
break from those heated arguments about Glorfindel's bloodline and
whether or not Thingol was a wise King. Instead, stop and relax for a
little while with one of the following strange activities:
- Follow this link to the Tolkien Art
Gallery, a display showing Tolkien's deep and sometimes surprising
influence in the world of classical and modern art.
- The Lord of the Rings Board Game is
still extremely hard to find in most stores. Odds are it will continue to
be. You might enjoy taking a look at this now-legendary addition to the
Middle-earth gaming world.
- As the Internet has grown, the demand for an
e-text version of The Lord of the Rings has continued to intensify.
At long last a number of noted Tolkien scholars have begun the intensive
task of preparing an electronic text of
The Lord Of The... whatever for you deadbeats who are too lazy to
buy the real book. Watch this work in progress as it unfolds!
- Through the deft research of Öjevind Lång,
several of A. Conan Doyle's lost manuscripts about Middle-earth have been
uncovered. Now at last the adventures of Sherlock Holmes
in Middle-earth are available here!
- Good, objective information about the enemies in Lord of the
Rings is hard to come by. With this in mind, here is some research
describing one group of enemies in sharp detail: the swarthy People of Dunland.
- Tolkien drew inspiration from many historical and poetic sources to
write The Lord of the Rings. Todd Jensen has discovered and published
an excerpt from one of those sources, long thought to be lost: William
Shakespeare's epic drama The Tragedie of Frodo Baggins.
- For those of you who are doing research for a book report on Tolkien,
but don't want to be bothered with reading volumes and volumes of his
work, you may find this Synopsis of The Lord of
the Rings to be helpful. A brief summary of The Silmarillion,
and a selection of possible term-papers topics, are included here as well.
- More advanced students of Tolkien might want to try their hand at the
Middle-earth test available on this server. Be
warned, however, that the advanced questions can be somewhat difficult
even for Tolkien experts.
- I was fortunate enough to have relatives who uncovered a rare,
almost-unknown Tolkien manuscript in 1995:
Saruman's Diary. I've duplicated it for you here,
complete with the accompanying footnotes.
- The magic and depth of Tolkien's works has, so far, eluded the
filmmakers who have tried to reproduce it. Sadly, this review of Ralph Bakshi's Lord of the Rings Part One describes how
one filmmaker was particularly eluded. (We're hoping Peter Jackson
will do a bit better.)
- Indeed, a lot of speculation has taken place about what The Lord
of the Rings would look like once it's been through Hollywood's
hands. Well, you need wonder no longer! For the very first time on the Web,
we present the complete movie version of The Lord of
the Rings! Believe it or not, this epic movie is now available for
immediate download in its entirety!
- For those who are curious about what happened to Middle-earth in the Ages after
The Lord of the Rings took place, have a look at Gil Williamson's Tales from the Prancing Pony.
This amazing site documents the story of three British adventurers who spent four
months in Middle-earth in the late 1880s, with a genteel and well-mannered Uruk-hai
as their guide.
- Last, but by no means the least, allow me to introduce the legendary
Tolkien Crackpot Theories page: a
compendium of some of the less-likely suggestions about the
history of Middle-earth.
By the way, if you're completely unfamiliar with J.R.R. Tolkien's work,
all this may seem a little mysterious to you. However, a look at the
rec.arts.books.tolkien FAQ might
be of some help in illuminating you until you get a chance
to read the actual books.
It should be noted that, however much sarcasm they may inspire, the
books are superb and well worth reading. (Indeed, they're much
more worthwhile reading than this web-page is.)
(Click here if you're interested in the copyright information,
disclaimer, photo credits and other such legal
grot.)
Coming soon: Keebler's Elves: The Avari Turn To Evil.