Why The Elves And Dwarves Don't Get Along

From a rec.arts.books.tolkien posting, dated 8 October 1995.

A recent answer to the Middle-earth test supplied this answer to Question #13:

13. When the Dwarves of beautiful Khazad-Dum built their Western door, why did they allow it to be inscribed with the insulting name of "Moria" ("Black Pit"), a name that would only be earned long years afterwards?

They could not understand what Narvi was writing on the door. (After all, Dwarves used Cirth). So it was a practical joke by the Elves.
Which leads me to think that the scene before the Gate of Moria should have gone more like this:

"They say only: The Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter. And underneath small and faint is written: I, Narvi, made them. Celebrimbor of Hollin drew these signs. And under that, in little tiny letters, I can just make out: Dwarves are little stunty bowlegged cretins and their women are ugly. And with their poor eyesight and their native stupidity they'll never even be able to read this. Bwah hah hah hah."

Gimli pulled out his axe and began hacking Legolas to pieces. "Ai! Ai!" the Elf cried, but the Dwarf laughed long and heartily. "Baruk Khazad! Khazad ai-menu!" he laughed, and then began singing a cheerful Dwarven battle-song as he hacked the defenseless, once-fair Elf into many pieces.

"What does it mean by speak, friend, and enter?" asked Merry, as he loaned Gimli a cooking-pot...

"I thought it was only a kind of cram, such as the Dale-men make for journeys in the wild," said the Dwarf.
"So it is," they answered. "But we call it legolas or waymeat, and it is more strengthening than any food made by Men, and it is more pleasant than cram, by all accounts..."
-Fellowship of the Ring p. 385 hardback

"Legolas probably achieved least of the Nine Walkers."
-J.R.R. Tolkien, Unfinished Tales, p. 400 hardback
< Previous Theory / Back to Crackpot Theories Page / Next Theory >
"We can avoid Moria if we take the Donner Pass..." - Aragorn